God Kisses

Our church has been going through the book of Mark for the past few months, and a couple of weeks ago, our pastor taught on Mark 5:21-43. In this passage, Jesus heals the unclean woman and the daughter of the important man. At our home group later that night, when we were discussing the sermon and the faith of these two people, the following series of questions were asked:

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you couldn't fix on your own that caused you to cry out for help? Have you ever felt like God was delayed or slow to act? 

My reaction? I laughed and said, "yeah, only the past year and a half of my life". My ever gracious and purposeful friends wouldn't let me leave it at that. Knowing full well what this time has looked like for me, they asked me to expound. (Side note: find people that make you do this in life. Find people who make you vocalize your faith and challenge yourself and dig deeper. that's what friends do.)

This journey to become a mom has been the first time in my life that it hasn't just been easy for me. I have an amazing family, an unforgettable and happy childhood, great friends, a job that I love, a husband that serves me and honors me...God has blessed in innumerable ways. But starting a family has not been easy. Trying to become a mom has challenged me, grown my faith, made me cry out to God because there's no way to get through this without Him. I have learned so much about myself and my faith.

But most importantly, I have learned that while I wait for God to answer the biggest prayer of my life, I need to ask for the God kisses. 

A couple of months ago, I started asking God to show Himself to me each week. I didn't care how or when; I just wanted a gentle reminder that He is near. The first week, my God kiss was a song. I didn't realize it at first, it was a song that I'd heard 5 million times, but as the week progressed, I realized that this song meant a little more to me that week. And then, we sang it on Sunday at church. For the next several weeks, I continued to ask for songs, and you know what? He gave them to me. Week after week, He sent a song. Sometimes, the song would be through a friend. Other times, we would sing it at church. But He answered each request.

A few weeks ago, we had a 2 week wait with a potential birth mom until we heard a "no". Then, two days later, we had a quick presentation that lasted two days before hearing another "no". By the end, I was truly exhausted. Exhausted physically, exhausted emotionally, just truly exhausted. So, I asked God to give me a week. I needed a week to recover, rest, rejuvenate; just get ready for the next situation. He gave me exactly that...another God kiss. (Apparently, I should've told my husband that I asked for a week because it was a very long week for him...) To some, it may seem coincidental, but I don't believe in coincidence. Exactly a week later, we had 3 birth mom profiles sitting in my inbox. Most definitely, not a coincidence.

My point is this:

God is here. He doesn't sit back and observe. He's intricately involved in our lives. He knows my heart, and yours. He wants to grant us those desires. All we have to do is ask.

I know that I'm not the only one waiting on a big answer from God, so maybe while you're waiting, you'll join me in asking for the God kisses too?


"Praise God from whom all blessings flow..."